Purple Swimming, Purple Knee

I swam with the Purple Group last night. It was a better workout than last week, for which I was grateful-- I haven't been able to RUN since last Friday and really wanted some legit cardio. Apparently I am using the wall too much, though. Not in the sense I am hanging on to it in the middle of the pool, but I rely too much on pushing off or something... I stay under water 'too far' which is bad because "you're training for a triathlon here." Sometimes I have a hard time taking coaching as coaching, not criticism.

Knee update:
Left still hurts. Right's over compensating. Dooring is an incredibly unfortunate circumstance.

Frustrated, I won't lie.
But-- perspective is important. I have intentionally been trying to keep the people that have a blood cancer at the forefront of my mind in this whole thing. I can't imagine the frustrations they have endured when their body failed them, over and over. My scraped knees pale in comparison to their obstacles, yet my whining surpasses theirs by far. If this is what it takes to get closer to a cure, then so be it.

Please donate to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society:
http://pages.teamintraining.org/il/chitri08/kourada

Kick, Flap, Pray you get to the other end... aka: swimming

**note: for some reason the links aren't working, so here they are:
Team in Training (TNT): www.teamintraining.org
Athletico: www.athletico.com
Bally's: www.ballyfitness.com

I have been solely swimming the past couple of days because I'm still broken. Going to get that figured out (hopefully) today. Apparently through TNT, I can go to Athletico. That is a huge huge huge blessing. I'm nervous, but glad to have a professional medical opinion. I have been swimming at Bally's because I got the two week guest pass. It is a good pool structure (minus the fact that there are no flags and the wall can be awkward to push off of-- but these are luxuries I will have to learn to live without as there are no flags above the lake, and there are certainly no walls to be pushing off of), but there are a LOT OF PEOPLE THERE. The entire gym seems to always be full of people and it mentally interferes with my workout. Yesterday I arrived and sat by the pool to wait for an open lane because I HATE sharing a lane with someone. I can't focus on swimming because I am too worried about hitting the other person when we go by each other. As I waited, people kept coming in and sharing with those who were already there. I realized that I was never going to get my own lane and if I wanted to achieve my target heart rate I had to bite the bullet and just do it. So I apologetically asked some poor unfortunate soul if I could share his lane and he shrugged and said yes. He was actually nice and asked which side I wanted. That is a nicer demeanor than I display when someone asks if they can share with me. I usually don't allow people to ask, as I just keep swimming if I see they're there. This is how it happens: as you approach the wall, you see their feet because they're sitting on the edge, waiting for you to pause so they can intrude. It is the proper thing to do to stop and politely invite them to share or at least inquire why their feet are there. Do I do this? No. I see the feet and do a particularly aggressive flip turn, secretly hoping to splash them with the cold water they are not yet used to and continue down the middle of the lane. Then when I return to that end of the pool, the brave ones are usually standing in the water by now. Again, I should stop and be socially ept, but I don't. I repeat the aggressive flip turn exhibited before, and then I move over to one side of the lane and continue swimming. I get irrationally irritated when people get in my lane and it can be good and bad. It really energizes me to swim faster, but at the same time, I get out really... angry. It is really quite childish. As I swam yesterday and there was bumping, kicking, 'high-fiving' (when you are passing the lane-sharer and you each have your arm out of the water at the same time and place and you hit hands-- it can hurt), running into the lane-line, running into the wall, and more physical contact than I ever want to have with strangers, I realized this: when the day of the triathlon comes around, there are going to be tons of people. I have heard horror stories of people getting beat up essentially at the beginning of the swim because so many people start out at the same time. So, I guess I can chalk crowded gym swimming up to preparation for the event. I could go on about my issues with other swimmers at the pool, but am acutally somewhat embarassed at the new insight any reader has gained into my overall immaturity..

Things I have learned thus far in pursuit of the triathlon:

1) Sunglasses, while biking, are not a luxury that people wear to look cool. Rather, they are a necessity that people wear to enable them to see. To ride without such equipment would be as much (if not more) of a safety hazard as riding without a helmet. Try riding in the east direction as the sun rises. Nobody likes a blind bicyclist.

2) Busses are kinder than taxis. Busses will intentionally work with cyclists to ensure the safety of both parties involved, while taxis don't give two shakes what happens to the cyclist. I have always had a somewhat bitter taste towards Chicago busses due to the fact that even if THEY hit someone, it is the other person's fault... however, this recent discovery in their interaction with cyclists may have earned them a few points.

3) Well, I don't know what I learned from this, but I figured the occurence is noteworthy: At bike training last Saturday, the Iron Horse and I were climbing a 'hill' (really more of a mild incline that seemed hill-ish after four years in a flat region..). It is well known amongst the cycling community that mountain bikes are an inefficient choice in road-racing. Something about the tires gripping the road and slowing you down... yadda yadda yadda. So, I feverishly pedaled (please remember for the sake of an accurate mental picture that my pedaling as of the dooring shenanigan is very lopsided... as pedaling with a mangled knee simply hurts. So I really just use my good (better?) leg) up said incline, with what I thought was impressive speed and diligence. Two real cyclists pass me with their smooth and skinny tires. As the first passed by she said "Not bad... for a mountain bike." I am still split on deciding what she meant-- my initial reaction was "Really?! Thanks!" (and that is what I said...), but upon analyzing it, I can definitely see her intending to be somewhat snob-ish in a very middle school-esque manner. I don't know. For as much as we say that people don't care what you do and it doesn't matter what other people think, and as much as we minimize all these 'silent' social attitudes and everything... I still see them more often than not. They don't seem to disappear when you get out of high school or college or anything. People are weird-- perhaps that is the lesson learned. Haha, or perhaps I could learn that I over analyze everything.

Back on the Horse

Today there was bike training at a forest preserve. I really did not know what to expect as I haven't ridden a bike outside for the sole purpose of exercise... ever. I have gone to spinning classes, but they are very stationary and it is different. So I went in very aware of the fact that I was the rookie, but decided that these clinics are there for a reason so I might as well take advantage of them. My mind was surprisingly open to it all-- I really had no expectations of myself or others, I was there to figure out this biking thing and was genuinely enthusiastic about it. Weird!
I am grateful for TNT as it is a wonderful network of people who all have similar if not the exact same motivations: to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Today before we started running, one of the group members gave a short "Mission Moment." What he said was very touching. This is not his first time with TNT, but in previous years he has done it to "do it, and do something good at the same time." That is where I feel like I am at. While the more I learn about the stories of people who have personally wrestled or watched a love one battle a blood cancer, the more passionate I become about the real reason I will take one more stroke, one more hill, one more mile to the finish line. Despite my growing enthusiasm, I still feel like an infant in it all, and that I am doing it to 'do it and do something good while doing it.' When todays speaker told us that he just learned on Wednesday that his grandmother has Leukemia, I was shocked! It felt like a giant hand GRASPED my trachea. It made me realize that no matter if I have conqured cancer myself or if I didn't know what cancer was, it can still strike me or my loved ones, or ANYBODY at anytime. That's such a scary thought! But, instead of running into my apartment and never coming out for fear of exposing myself to some cancer causing agent, I will run OUT of my apartment and start doing something to help researchers find a cure. I am grateful for these clinicls, as it seems if I ever have a slight hint of losing the smallest amount of focus, they bring me right back and remind me of the significance of raising this support and that it is no matter to be taken lightly.

I am very concerned, as getting doored has stuck with me. My left knee took all of the weight of my touchdown... and it hurts. It is hurting worse than yesterday and that is very concerning to me. Walking hurts. Biking today was okay once I got inot it, but if I shifted gears funny or stopped suddenly, or stood up to pedal, it hurt SO MUCH and I couldn't do it. So we'll see how that goes. I will give it another day, maybe two before I call somebody (who? I don't know, I don't have health insurance). But I am not encouraged and I cannot run on it right now and I am concerned about falling behind. Perhaps this is God's way of FORCING me to follow the training schedule!! just kidding-- I doubt that's the case. But I will keep my two readers posted. =)

Doored.

These past couple of weeks have been insane. Between graduating (!!!), moving, entertaining family, working, and taking a crazy intense review course-- I have been going going going and am just about gone. I did not expect in any way to be so overwhlemed once the door of academia had been closed!

Lets talk about bikes:
I have been biking everywhere because I am too poor to take public transportation anymore (it's actually true this time-- I frequently refer to my lack of finances but have only been concerned due to the extreme debt that I knew I was facing post gradutation. I have now graduated and while I don't have to start paying back said debt quite yet, rent is a very real thing that sucks me dry once a month, and I spend the rest of the month praying that nobody cashes a check or that I don't need to eat a lot. I have already bounced one check and it is one of my more heartfelt prayers that it doesn't happen again-- as it is a $27 fee each time. That blows!). Anyways-- day one of biking I ventured off the sidewalk and onto the road, because that is what real bikers do, and the badgering of my peers finally broke me down. They are called sideWALKs for a reason and bike lanes are there for a reason. So I strapped on my ancient (honestly-- it is yellow with age) helmet and rode on the street. It was magnificent. Very exhilirating and crazy-- dodging vehicles and timing the lights.. I really enjoyed it. I felt like a real cyclist; I'd become a member of some unofficial society. It was wonderful. I continued biking to work, to my review class, to wherever I needed to go-- on the street with my helmet on. It's honestly been really great and I've saved at least $20 if not more from avoiding public transportation.

..but..

Today as I pedaled home after the last day of a particularly grueling class, I had a bad experience. I was doing well and was focused on the traffic, it's busy at that time, and I was watching the cars that were parked along the street to make sure nothing exciting happened with them. All of the sudden-- out of NOWHERE AT ALL-- a door to an SUV flies open just in time for me to COLLIDE into it and go soaring over my handlebars, over the DOOR and into the middle of the busy Chicago street (with a sirening vehicle approaching, no less!). In the long minutes of my flight, I heard the siren-- so upon landing I thought Holy cow, I'm going to get hit by an ambulance, too?!?! This energized me to JUMP up and feebly (yet quickly) hobble to the sidewalk where I shrugged off the poor man that caused the fiasco who could manage 'are you okay?' and 'I'm so sorry, miss.' And checked the battle wounds. No blood was GUSHING out, so I started walking. My knee wouldn't bend properly, no way was I going to get back on the horse. (haha, ironhorse..) I was hyperventilating and within twenty labored paces, bawling. What does one do when they cannot breathe due to extreme pain and fluid loss related to excessive tears? One calls their mother. My poor mom picks up the phone to "....(gulp)....(hiccup)....i......(wheeze)......got....(hiccup)....dooooooooored!!!!" That woman puts up with too much! But I am so grateful as I finally caught my breath and realized I was not dead or close to it, all of my limbs (while very bruised and swollen) were present, and I was walking. The whole thing just scared the living day lights out of me! So here I sit, my left knee is three times as large as it should be, my palms are raw, and my hip is bruised (in a petechiae fashion-- exciting!), too. But it all makes for a good story, I guess, and I am quite fortunate to walk away from a vehicle-bicycle collision. I am so glad I wore my helmet, as I do recall my head hitting the ground rather forcefully, and there's a great scuff on my historic helmet. Perhaps it is not as useless as I orignally may have thought.. perhaps the ugly factor is worth it. I dont' want to think about what that 'scuff' would have done to my scalp.

So, I guess not a lot of that is triathlon related... but it seems appropriate.
I finally made it to swimming training last night. It was interesting. They split all of the triathlon-ers into two groups-- Purple and White. The Purple Group are those who have completed the triathlon before, White is the rookies. So, I went to the swimming for the White Group, as I have never competed in the triathlon, and was mortified. Not only have these people never done a triathlon, they have never submersed themselves in a body of water larger than their bathtub. This was not a training session, it was a 'how-to-swim' session. This is all well and good, as learning to swim is essential in triathlon preparation. However, I know how to swim and while I am not the best of fastest on any level, I do know how to swim. So, I got the 'okay' to attend the training for the Purple Group in the future which is very encouraging.

I am starting to get concerned about fundraising. I had originally planned on starting the fundraising campaign immediately upon graduation-- I thought I'd have all the time in the world. As I previously stated, that is far from the case. Almost two weeks have passed since the end of my undergrad career and I have yet to embark upon the fundraising journey. I am nervous as I don't know the best way to approach it. The Lymphoma and Leukemia Society has grown to be something that I am very serious and enthusiastic about promoting and helping, and I want to fundraise correctly in order to get the best potential response. I worry that if I approach it wrong or something that I will ruin my chance of letting people realize what a wonderful opportunity this is to donate to a truly wonderful organization. Suggesstions are always welcome.

That is all for now, I think. I am waiting to hear if I can get a ride to the bike training that is scheduled for Saturday. It is in the suburbs and the El doesn't go there. It'd be a 20 mile ride to go train some more, then a 20 mile ride back if I chose to ride the IronHorse there, and I don't think that'd be a good idea at this point. So we'll see.

No more posting post-8:30pm

So, I have come to realize that I am a morning person. I willingly wake up at 4:30am and am able to get quality work done, and I love it. However, this poses one small problem: Come 9:00pm, I hit my wall. I am so worthless at putting thoughts together or cognitively functioning well in any way. This can be seen in my previous post. While it was posted earlier-- 7:30ish, yesterday was a very taxing day and I think I hit my wall around lunch time. But, my apologies for typos and poorly worded thoughts.

Don't forget to donate!

The next big thing is a group swim on Wednesday, then a Bike Fit Clinic on Thursday. EXCITING. =)

no MUSIC?!

THIS JUST IN: It is means for disqualification if a person listens to music while running the last leg of the Triathlon! AAAHHHH!!! That's nuts-o. I don't know how I'm going ot handle that one! If I can hear myself breathing when I run, I get VERY concerned and start to panic which just intensifies an already labored respiratory effort! This could get ugly.

I went to 'Tri 101' tonight. It was kind of just a Q&A session with one of the coaches. I appreciate those, and got a couple of questions answered. This whole thing about doing the pansy workouts only at the beginning really isn't sitting well. I will admit-- I don't stick to the workout program right now. Perhaps that will manifest itself later, perhaps not. I just cannot be content wtih a 20 minute light jog being my exercise for the day. I don't think it's healthy.

At this clinic I realied that triathlon-ing is very expensive! I am grateful, as TNT provides us wtih wetsuits to wear in the lake. I cannot imagine buying a wetsuit! But there are other things I have to look at: cycling shoes, new pedals, (a new bike, but i've already accepted that the Iron Horse will have to carry me through..) 'triathlon shorts', a real helmet, sunglasses... etc etc etc. The list goes on and on and on. Not quite sure how to deal with the expenses of it all, but will have to settle on teh conclusion of crossing each bridge as it comes.

I am very excited.

A New Kind of Kickoff

Generally when I hear the term 'kickoff' I immediately think about the beginning of a soccer game. So when I learned about the Kickoff Party for the triathlon, I thought "we get to play soccer?! this is my kind of training session!" However, soon after I learned that this kickoff merely meant 'to begin.' What a tease.

Despite the lack of futbol fun, the triathlon kickoff was enjoyable. It was cool to see everyone who will be working with Team in Training to raise money for the Lymphoma and Leukemia Society to find a cure for blood cancers.

I'll be honest, my primary motivation in signing up for the triathlon was because I've always wanted to do one. Today we heard from a mom who has been with Team in Training for a while (I think she said four years), and her motivation was her son, Keegan. He'd been diagnosed with ALL (Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, the most common cancer in children), and in September 2006 passed away. Hearing her story and seeing how Team in Training played such a big role in it was quite moving. The money that is raised through this program directly goes to the LLS and progress IS being made, and a cure enthusiastically and diligently pursued. As she told us about Keegan and his love for life, I felt my motivations in this endeavor shifting. Yea-- I still want to complete a triathlon. But even more so now, I want to do something to help find a cure. The money I raise through this triathlon will accomplish far more than I can ever imagine, and will significantly surpass the physical triathlon experience.

So now I am doubly motivated and ready to start fundraising. Get excited. In the past, I have always hated fundraising. I'm too independent to be asking people for money all the time. But what I realized is that in this situation, I am not asking for me. In no way does the money that people donate go to me. It goes directly to the LLS. In the past I have asked people to donate so I could go on a trip or have good soccer gear... but this time it's asking people to donate so a cure can be found for these blood cancers. This is a good thing in my eyes, as I will feel more justified in asking people to donate. I am still hesitant, though, as getting potential donors to have the same mental shift that I have had will be no easy task. But all is well, as I appreciate a good challenge.

So here's a first plug: please consider donating to this cause. I have set up a fundraising webpage where you can donate online. I have committed to raising $2,000 and every penny counts.

Triathlon 101 clinic on Wednesday! Swim clinic on Saturday (but it's graduation, so I'll miss it.. yikes!).

I'm so excited that this is actually happening.