Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Torn
There are like twelve days until I say "Peace out, Chicago," and run enthusiastically back into the arms of the West Coast.
I'm torn.
One part of me is ready to go right NOW. Honestly-- I'm done packing (I'm living out of a suitcase), and all of my thoughts are on finding an apartment in Seattle. I can't do that until I'm there. So I want to go NOW. I want to see where I will be living and just start getting settled. I want to go to my place of work, hand in my paperwork and get my ID badge picture taken. I want to ride my bike there to gauge what time I'll have to leave before my shift. I want to find a GYM close by. I want to find the nearest cheap grocery store, the closest Costco, and the Starbucks. I want to figure out the public transportation system and get involved with something-- whether it be coaching soccer or doing something triathlon related. Menatlly, I am already in Seattle, but have to wait twelve more days before I can physically be back on the west/best coast.
The other part of me is realizing how much I like my job here. Given-- once it was publicized that I am leaving, some aspects have taken an ugly turn. Despite stupid scheduling and petty issues, I have come to feel a part of the community of my floor and workplace. I trust my colleagues and I think they're slowly starting to trust me. I know the phone numbers, I know who the attendings are and what residents are on what service. I have my favorite patients and finally know how to get to x-ray without getting lost (...it took awhile). In the past couple of months, things have started to gel a little bit, and now I'm leaving. Don't get me wrong-- each day is something new and for everything I know, there are at least four things I am still trying to wrap my head around. Recently I have seen that indeed I have been making progress and all the stress and anxiety over the year has not been in vain. I genuinely enjoy my job and feel very fortunate and blessed to be able to truthfully make that claim. And I am scared spitless to walk away from it.
As much as I bellyache about Chicago, I know it. Well-- I know how to survive in it for the most part. I know what roads are good to bike on and what roads will get you killed or worse-- doored. I know not to ride on the LakeShore trail during rush hour because it's worse than driving traffic. I have my three grocery stores within a two mile radius where I can get everything I need for a reasonable deal. I know how the El works and am increasingly confident in busses. I have people that I know here and while we may not be best of friends, I KNOW them and they know me. I can go back to North Park and see a handful of friends within seconds of stepping on campus. I am connected in the community and I like that. I have proven to myself that I can survive independently in a big and unknown city, and it was hard! As much as I am looking forward to avoid a six month winter, I am feeling slight twinges of nostalgia for the past five years I've been here.
So I can only hope. Hope that the inevitable stress and anxiety of starting new in Seattle will bear the same, if not better fruit. Hope that I don't mind the rain a lot and that Seattle won't have another freak winter. Hope that biking is the practical option everyone says it will be. Hope that I will be welcomed in my new workplace. Hope that the rotating position opens up in the promised amount of time. Hope that the increased rent doesn't suck me dry and extend my loan repayment period. Hope that I make new friends and grow a social life. Hope that I find a gym that is close to home and close to work, is open 24 hours, reasonably priced, and has a nice pool and good spinning classes. Hope that I find an apartment that fits me and my insane amount of boxes with free laundry. Hope that it works out with few and far between meltdowns.
Only time will tell, and these last twelve days will either fly by or drag on. We'll see!
I'm torn.
One part of me is ready to go right NOW. Honestly-- I'm done packing (I'm living out of a suitcase), and all of my thoughts are on finding an apartment in Seattle. I can't do that until I'm there. So I want to go NOW. I want to see where I will be living and just start getting settled. I want to go to my place of work, hand in my paperwork and get my ID badge picture taken. I want to ride my bike there to gauge what time I'll have to leave before my shift. I want to find a GYM close by. I want to find the nearest cheap grocery store, the closest Costco, and the Starbucks. I want to figure out the public transportation system and get involved with something-- whether it be coaching soccer or doing something triathlon related. Menatlly, I am already in Seattle, but have to wait twelve more days before I can physically be back on the west/best coast.
The other part of me is realizing how much I like my job here. Given-- once it was publicized that I am leaving, some aspects have taken an ugly turn. Despite stupid scheduling and petty issues, I have come to feel a part of the community of my floor and workplace. I trust my colleagues and I think they're slowly starting to trust me. I know the phone numbers, I know who the attendings are and what residents are on what service. I have my favorite patients and finally know how to get to x-ray without getting lost (...it took awhile). In the past couple of months, things have started to gel a little bit, and now I'm leaving. Don't get me wrong-- each day is something new and for everything I know, there are at least four things I am still trying to wrap my head around. Recently I have seen that indeed I have been making progress and all the stress and anxiety over the year has not been in vain. I genuinely enjoy my job and feel very fortunate and blessed to be able to truthfully make that claim. And I am scared spitless to walk away from it.
As much as I bellyache about Chicago, I know it. Well-- I know how to survive in it for the most part. I know what roads are good to bike on and what roads will get you killed or worse-- doored. I know not to ride on the LakeShore trail during rush hour because it's worse than driving traffic. I have my three grocery stores within a two mile radius where I can get everything I need for a reasonable deal. I know how the El works and am increasingly confident in busses. I have people that I know here and while we may not be best of friends, I KNOW them and they know me. I can go back to North Park and see a handful of friends within seconds of stepping on campus. I am connected in the community and I like that. I have proven to myself that I can survive independently in a big and unknown city, and it was hard! As much as I am looking forward to avoid a six month winter, I am feeling slight twinges of nostalgia for the past five years I've been here.
So I can only hope. Hope that the inevitable stress and anxiety of starting new in Seattle will bear the same, if not better fruit. Hope that I don't mind the rain a lot and that Seattle won't have another freak winter. Hope that biking is the practical option everyone says it will be. Hope that I will be welcomed in my new workplace. Hope that the rotating position opens up in the promised amount of time. Hope that the increased rent doesn't suck me dry and extend my loan repayment period. Hope that I make new friends and grow a social life. Hope that I find a gym that is close to home and close to work, is open 24 hours, reasonably priced, and has a nice pool and good spinning classes. Hope that I find an apartment that fits me and my insane amount of boxes with free laundry. Hope that it works out with few and far between meltdowns.
Only time will tell, and these last twelve days will either fly by or drag on. We'll see!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
A+
Yesterday I booked the movers.
Last night I had a dream that they ripped me off.
It is one of my more sincere hopes that this place lives up to their A+ rating by the Better Business Bureau.
After I got off the phone with the very helpful moving-lady, I realized there are only twelve days before movers show up at my front door. So I made significant packing progress. Still nowhere near done, but much farther along.
I only have six more days of work left. That's craaazy.
Last night I had a dream that they ripped me off.
It is one of my more sincere hopes that this place lives up to their A+ rating by the Better Business Bureau.
After I got off the phone with the very helpful moving-lady, I realized there are only twelve days before movers show up at my front door. So I made significant packing progress. Still nowhere near done, but much farther along.
I only have six more days of work left. That's craaazy.
Friday, October 16, 2009
brr
I am SO COLD.
The warmth wouldn't hang around for me. It's been cold and rainy for the past week or so. I can't help but think "this is what I'm moving TO?!" but then I remember that it will stay like this instead of dropping to ungodly low temperature and snow will be rare. It better be, anyways.
My last day of work theoretically is November 1st. They put me on the next three weekends in a row, and 'asked' me to work nights the 31st and the 1st. I'm a little (a lot) irritated by this and trying to get that worked out.
I have set up a storage place in Seattle. I will have movers take my stuff there, and then when I find an apartment my beloved family will help me move in.
I've been sucked into perusing Craigs List for apartments. I've found a couple that I really like and have set up viewings. I am still paralyzed by the rent, though. It's disgusting.
All this time trying to figure out the logistics of this moving shenanigan has left me little time/motivation to workout. This is bad. I need to get moooving again.
SO COLD!
The warmth wouldn't hang around for me. It's been cold and rainy for the past week or so. I can't help but think "this is what I'm moving TO?!" but then I remember that it will stay like this instead of dropping to ungodly low temperature and snow will be rare. It better be, anyways.
My last day of work theoretically is November 1st. They put me on the next three weekends in a row, and 'asked' me to work nights the 31st and the 1st. I'm a little (a lot) irritated by this and trying to get that worked out.
I have set up a storage place in Seattle. I will have movers take my stuff there, and then when I find an apartment my beloved family will help me move in.
I've been sucked into perusing Craigs List for apartments. I've found a couple that I really like and have set up viewings. I am still paralyzed by the rent, though. It's disgusting.
All this time trying to figure out the logistics of this moving shenanigan has left me little time/motivation to workout. This is bad. I need to get moooving again.
SO COLD!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
One Way
Yesterday I bought my first one way plane ticket. I will fly back to Oregon November 3rd. My final few days in Chicago look like they'll be a little bit INSANE:
October 31st: work all day
November 1st: work all day (this will get me benefits through all of November)
November 2nd: movers
November 3rd: flight home at 8:30am.
I am so excited for this to all happen. Truthfully, I wish I could fast forward through all the stressful logistical stuff, but know I can't so whatever. I am holding on (desperately) to the fact that it will be worth it when all is said and done. To be closer to my family and out of this subzero climate will be so fantastic.
I'm still focusing on packing which is a much lower process than I'd like it to be... and I'm trying to find movers that won't screw me over. I hope to go up to Seattle on the 4th or 5th to start apartment hunting in order to give said movers a destination sooner than later. I'll probably end up having them move everything into storage then end up recruiting my beloved family to help me actually move into an apartment.
It is all very exciting. And very expensive. Let's not talk about that part, it gives me heart palpitations.
October 31st: work all day
November 1st: work all day (this will get me benefits through all of November)
November 2nd: movers
November 3rd: flight home at 8:30am.
I am so excited for this to all happen. Truthfully, I wish I could fast forward through all the stressful logistical stuff, but know I can't so whatever. I am holding on (desperately) to the fact that it will be worth it when all is said and done. To be closer to my family and out of this subzero climate will be so fantastic.
I'm still focusing on packing which is a much lower process than I'd like it to be... and I'm trying to find movers that won't screw me over. I hope to go up to Seattle on the 4th or 5th to start apartment hunting in order to give said movers a destination sooner than later. I'll probably end up having them move everything into storage then end up recruiting my beloved family to help me actually move into an apartment.
It is all very exciting. And very expensive. Let's not talk about that part, it gives me heart palpitations.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
LIMBO NO MORE
I received a call a few days ago from my future boss asking if I was still interested in the job I interviewed for in SEATTLE. I said "YES. VERY MUCH." (trying-- and failing miserably-- to not sound overly desperate).
On November 30th I will start working at Seattle Children's Hospital on the 4th floor Surgical Unit. I cannot even begin to tell you how elated I am and I swear I was grinning for three straight days-- ear to ear.
Needless to say there is a LOT to be done. To be very honest I am ridiculously overwhelmed by the ginormity of my to-do list. The fact that this cross country move is going to cost so much is the real clincher. In order for my new work place to provide relocation assistance, one has to have two years of experience, and I have just over one year. This is very upsetting, but I'm trying to not let it ruin my sheer joy. However, moving will take a major chunk out of my 'life savings' and, I'm probably going to be getting a car once I get back to Oregon (to avoid sales tax). Those two things, combined with trying to furnish a new apartment (I currently only own bedroom stuff) in a city where it looks like rent will be about $200 more a month than I'm paying now, and don't forget that one's savings should be enough to sustain them for six months of living without any income (thank you Suze Orman).... my frugal nature is absolutely being threatened to the max. And it is making me nutty... and rather beyotchy.
But I'm moving to Seattle and I cannot WAIT.
On November 30th I will start working at Seattle Children's Hospital on the 4th floor Surgical Unit. I cannot even begin to tell you how elated I am and I swear I was grinning for three straight days-- ear to ear.
Needless to say there is a LOT to be done. To be very honest I am ridiculously overwhelmed by the ginormity of my to-do list. The fact that this cross country move is going to cost so much is the real clincher. In order for my new work place to provide relocation assistance, one has to have two years of experience, and I have just over one year. This is very upsetting, but I'm trying to not let it ruin my sheer joy. However, moving will take a major chunk out of my 'life savings' and, I'm probably going to be getting a car once I get back to Oregon (to avoid sales tax). Those two things, combined with trying to furnish a new apartment (I currently only own bedroom stuff) in a city where it looks like rent will be about $200 more a month than I'm paying now, and don't forget that one's savings should be enough to sustain them for six months of living without any income (thank you Suze Orman).... my frugal nature is absolutely being threatened to the max. And it is making me nutty... and rather beyotchy.
But I'm moving to Seattle and I cannot WAIT.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Limboooo
I have never been fond of limbo. If it were a limbo where I knew what the next phase would be and exactly when and where it would start, I could embrace that limbo. But this limbo is far less detailed than I can appreciate.
In 26 days I have to be moved out. Where am I going? GREAT QUESTION. Everything depends on one decision that is taking its sweet sweet time being made. It is near impossible to secure a plan B for if my ideal situation doesn't pan out. I don't want to get a new apartment because I don't want to sign a one year lease. Month to month leases are few and far between, especially when winter is approaching. No landlord wants to try and rent out his/her place when it's bitter cold and snowing. If there is a month to month it is uber sketch and more of a last-resort to take to avoid under-bridge dwelling. So I am slightly stressed out about the whole 'where will I be living in four weeks from now' debaucle.
I am currently trying to focus on purging my life of unnecessary THINGS. Clothes and shoes especially. It can't be normal to have THREE drawers in one dresser solely dedicated to t-shirts. I may have a problem. And, is it bad that I want to keep my planners from (gulp) even high school...? I love looking through them and remembering all the fun that was had... but they take up a lot of room. So does all of my school work/books from college... Am I really a pack-rat?!?! Aye carumba. I have had times where I've done a good job at just getting rid of things that I wasn't using regularly.. and it seems like no matter what it is, a couple of days after it's disposal, I genuinely need whatever the thing was! Okay-- it's officially a problem.
"A couple of weeks" is SO vague. C'mon, I thought we were all type A! Give me a date, a time.. something objective to hold onto.
It is not surprising to me that I heard this whisper in my ear at work yesterday: "I heard a rumor... is it true?" I have come to genuinely enjoy my coworkers and will miss them if my ideal situation DOES work... but man, working with a majority of women (we have ONE male nurse on our floor.. out of.. a lot) makes it hard to keep anything on the down low. Makes me glad I had the discussion with my supervisor before I left. Shoot.
In any regard, I am experiencing chest pain. If this whole shenanigan gives me a heart attack I will be rather fed up. I don't think it's a myocardial infarction though.. I went to sleep with some wicked hiccups... maybe they're the culprit.
In 26 days I have to be moved out. Where am I going? GREAT QUESTION. Everything depends on one decision that is taking its sweet sweet time being made. It is near impossible to secure a plan B for if my ideal situation doesn't pan out. I don't want to get a new apartment because I don't want to sign a one year lease. Month to month leases are few and far between, especially when winter is approaching. No landlord wants to try and rent out his/her place when it's bitter cold and snowing. If there is a month to month it is uber sketch and more of a last-resort to take to avoid under-bridge dwelling. So I am slightly stressed out about the whole 'where will I be living in four weeks from now' debaucle.
I am currently trying to focus on purging my life of unnecessary THINGS. Clothes and shoes especially. It can't be normal to have THREE drawers in one dresser solely dedicated to t-shirts. I may have a problem. And, is it bad that I want to keep my planners from (gulp) even high school...? I love looking through them and remembering all the fun that was had... but they take up a lot of room. So does all of my school work/books from college... Am I really a pack-rat?!?! Aye carumba. I have had times where I've done a good job at just getting rid of things that I wasn't using regularly.. and it seems like no matter what it is, a couple of days after it's disposal, I genuinely need whatever the thing was! Okay-- it's officially a problem.
"A couple of weeks" is SO vague. C'mon, I thought we were all type A! Give me a date, a time.. something objective to hold onto.
It is not surprising to me that I heard this whisper in my ear at work yesterday: "I heard a rumor... is it true?" I have come to genuinely enjoy my coworkers and will miss them if my ideal situation DOES work... but man, working with a majority of women (we have ONE male nurse on our floor.. out of.. a lot) makes it hard to keep anything on the down low. Makes me glad I had the discussion with my supervisor before I left. Shoot.
In any regard, I am experiencing chest pain. If this whole shenanigan gives me a heart attack I will be rather fed up. I don't think it's a myocardial infarction though.. I went to sleep with some wicked hiccups... maybe they're the culprit.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Recap
Well, I'm back in Chicago and freezing! Apparently fall came stumbling in while I was gone, totally ruining my belief that the true 'Chicago summer' would come in September and October, since it never really showed up before then. So it's in the 50s and it's raining off and on. Brr. I had such an excellent trip home. To try and avoid a ridiculously long and wordy post, quick recap:
Saturday: arrived home
Sunday: recovered from lack of sleep
Monday: Hiking with Courtney (see previous post)
Tuesday: Beach with mom and grandma (see previous post)
Wednesday: lazy day!
Thursday: Hiking with dad to Marion Lake
Friday: lazy day!
Saturday: Hiking with Charissa and Stacey
Sunday Funday: Family gathering!
Monday: to Seattle!
Tuesday: begging for my future/ back to Oregon
Wednesday: Back to Chicago
PHEW! I got back to the windy city and trekked back to my apartment via the El. I finally walked in the door around 9:45pm. I putzed around for a little bit then hit the hay only to wake up well before dawn and go to work on Thursday morning. Waste no time, apparently. Work was okay yesterday. I did get an admission pretty late in the day which is always... exciting, but I made it home and have today to catch my breath before working the weekend. I'm not thrilled to be back in the city, and I am super impatient to learn whether or not I will get to relocate soon. In "a couple of weeks" I should know, but I WANT TO KNOW NOW. I have a one month grace period in my apartment. Technically our lease was up yesterday. My roommates will be staying, and someone is coming to take my spot on Wednesday. When I explained that my future isn't developing as quickly as I'd anticipated, they graciously agreed to let me stay through October. So I'd really like to know if I can anticipate a big move now in order to prepare with as little stress as possible (yea right). Oh well-- patience is a virtue... what a great opportunity to develop mine. Hmph.
Below find some more pictures of my super fantastic vacay to OREGON-- aka God's country.
We found another hiker to take our picture
Hiking with Charissa and Stacey-- we found waterfalls!
And of course had to walk through them!
Plane ride back... this is why I belong on the West Coast.
Saturday: arrived home
Sunday: recovered from lack of sleep
Monday: Hiking with Courtney (see previous post)
Tuesday: Beach with mom and grandma (see previous post)
Wednesday: lazy day!
Thursday: Hiking with dad to Marion Lake
Friday: lazy day!
Saturday: Hiking with Charissa and Stacey
Sunday Funday: Family gathering!
Monday: to Seattle!
Tuesday: begging for my future/ back to Oregon
Wednesday: Back to Chicago
PHEW! I got back to the windy city and trekked back to my apartment via the El. I finally walked in the door around 9:45pm. I putzed around for a little bit then hit the hay only to wake up well before dawn and go to work on Thursday morning. Waste no time, apparently. Work was okay yesterday. I did get an admission pretty late in the day which is always... exciting, but I made it home and have today to catch my breath before working the weekend. I'm not thrilled to be back in the city, and I am super impatient to learn whether or not I will get to relocate soon. In "a couple of weeks" I should know, but I WANT TO KNOW NOW. I have a one month grace period in my apartment. Technically our lease was up yesterday. My roommates will be staying, and someone is coming to take my spot on Wednesday. When I explained that my future isn't developing as quickly as I'd anticipated, they graciously agreed to let me stay through October. So I'd really like to know if I can anticipate a big move now in order to prepare with as little stress as possible (yea right). Oh well-- patience is a virtue... what a great opportunity to develop mine. Hmph.
Below find some more pictures of my super fantastic vacay to OREGON-- aka God's country.
Hiking with my dad-- Three Finger Jack in the view
My dad couldn't get enough of the "fall foliage"
We found another hiker to take our picture
Hiking with Charissa and Stacey-- we found waterfalls!And of course had to walk through them!
Despite the jolly nature of this group photo-- it was quite a death defying situation.
Super fun family gathering with an impromptu soccer game. I look forward to the rematch.
Plane ride back... this is why I belong on the West Coast.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
