Spandex

During a study break today, I decided to go to the official website of the triathlon to educate myself a little bit on what to expect on the big day. Despite the fact that I intended my web surfing to last no more than a couple of minutes, two and a half hours later I realized that I had gotten completely engulfed (and overwhelmed by) what I found.
I was specifically looking for pictures. Below are SOME pictures I found of a World Cup Triathlon in Madrid... I have no clue how I stumbled upon them when I was looking for Chicago pics. I want to know what this race is going to look like, especially the transition areas. I need to mentally prepare myself for this stuff so I am not thrown off by it on race day. I saw the term "flying dismounts" and somehow ended up watching these videos of some World Cup triathlon... (click on Ishigaki, then select either the women's or men's video, both are equally daunting.) Many things about this video have caused me great distress:

1) SPANDEX: While I have known this whole time that spandex will be worn under my wetsuit, and then during the bike and run, I have managed to block that detail out of my mind. These videos, however, brought it to my attention in a dramatic way. The people in these videos are professional triathletes-- they can do spandex quite well. I am NOT a professional triathlete and probably never will be-- I am okay with that. Regardless, I still have to do spandex. I have never worn spandex outside of 4 year old gymnastic leotards that could still be considered cute no matter how much baby fat spilled out of them. I am 22. My baby fat is no longer cute. Tell me that you looked at the above pictures and did not automatically think "NO WAY would I bike in my swim suit." In this regard, the swim leg will be the best-- I will be in water and will have a protective wetsuit to suck everything in. However, upon emerging I will have to publicly strip off that armor and bear my spandex for a 40k bike and a 10k RUN. ...spandex is one thing-- running in spandex is a whole new level of humiliation! I am in a small (okay huge) state of panic about this. Maybe I will put some soccer shorts at the transition area to throw on over the spandex...? ugh.

2) IRON HORSE: I am mortified at the bike I have chosen to use in this race. The iron horse is sufficient for getting to work, the grocery store, some social endeavors... maybe even a pleasure ride along the lake. But she is hard to pedal as her mountain bike tires do grip the ground quite well. I am nervous about the distance of the bike and that my legs will be SHOT at the end of the bike consequently killing me for the run. I know that mentally I will be completely thrown if I am unable to perform at an optimal level during the run because my legs are too tired from the bike. I would do close to anything to obtain a road bike. Pretty much the only thing I won't do is buy a new one. AND-- I really don't know if the old IH will make it to the race! For pete's sake she is on her last spoke and it's only mid-June. Some serious tuning up is needed-- SERIOUS. I wish none of this cost money!

3) I've never done a triathlon and my first go at the sport is the LARGEST TRIATHLON IN THE WORLD. What was I thinking?! Of all 'maiden voyages' I choose the largest one possible?! I really don't do large crowds well (especially in previously mentioned spandex!)-- I am going to have a panic attack at this! I decided that I need to do a sprint triathlon before Accenture in order to mentally prepare for everything: how it all works, how transitions work, how my body will feel during the different legs, etc. I started looking for some and found one that is on August 2nd. I am about to sign up for it-- the one thing holding me back? You guessed-- $$$. It's a $50 registration fee, plus about $14 in processing fees. I want to be putting this money directly toward LLS. I know that I could weasel my way around it and say 'well, by making myself a better triathlete, I'll be more excited and able to do well in Accenture and that is what I am doing in order to raise money for LLS...' But it all seems kinda roundabout. If I can find a way to rationalize it legitimately, then I'll sign up.

Here's another video-- watch it, I'm not kidding. Then you'll understand my current state of mind...


...so... what?
In short (but not really.. this is long): I'm panicked. I know I have the physical ability to swim 1.5k, bike 40k, and run 10k. I think I can even do them one right after another. But the atmosphere of the triathlon is scaring me more than I can say and I am getting cold feet already.

BUT

I will NOT back down and I will do this-- it's just a matter of how gracefully I'll do it. I think it will be key to have perspective and remember WHY I am doing this. I am almost positive that the people diagnosed with cancer have panicked once or twice in their journeys. I bet that they have questioned their ability to fight such a disease and win, and have been worried about looking funny in the midst of it all. My anxiety about being glamorous and graceful really are so silly when I put them into perspective. Spandex might not be my best look, but I'll be competing in the race I'll have trained all summer for. My bike might not be awesome-- but I'll have a bike that will (hopefully) get me from point A to point B. It might be a HUGE event, but I have a wonderful training program that will prepare me for the event better than I could have prepared myself. This will be successful and we will raise $2,000 for LLS-- and honestly, that is all that matters.