Fee fiii fo fum... Indianapolis, here I come.. (gulp)

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 30TH, 2008

Double decker busses make me think of England for some reason. It always seems like movies set there have a giant, red, double-decker bus filled of tourists dawning sun visors and cameras. So, I’ll type all of this with a British accent—as I am currently aboard a double decker bus (albeit purple..), on my way to Indianapolis for the Monumental Half Marathon. There is actually a wireless connection on my British vessel, however, I think I just got a virus from it, so I’m choosing to say no thank you to an internet connection for now. (Don’t worry, dad a virus scan is running). Anyways, I’m absolutely mortified about the motivation of this journey. This past week has only allowed my already nauseating anxiety flourish. I went for a 6 miler today in an effort to ‘get loose’ but I just can’t stop flipping out! My mind is not my own, I swear. After last Saturday’s escapade, I’ve been super sore. My hips, knees, and foot have told me that new running shoes are in order. It’s a shame there isn’t enough time (or money, let’s be serious) to obtain them before the rapidly approaching event that will rob me of any confidence, pride, dignity, and mobility. I worked three night shifts in a row in order to have these four days off (Thursday through Sunday). I kind of liked working three in a row—it allowed a sick and twisted sense of routine for those three days, even if the night shift WAS the routine. And now I have several days of no night shift to have a regular person routine, and that is very exciting. I have gotten the ‘we frown up on working three in a row’ vibe from my employer which is upsetting. Yes a person will be tired on the third night, but let’s get serious folks, who won’t be tired at 4 in the morning no matter how many shifts you’ve worked before it. As I create my own schedule I will sign up for 3 shifts at a time until I’m told to stop. If they’re going to make me work at such ungodly hours, they’ve gotta give me SOMETHING. Shoot.

As I’ve been spastic about this race, it has made me think more about my half-ironman aspirations for the spring/summer. Thirteen miles is a long way to run no matter how you look at it. In a half-ironman, the thirteen miles that is about to kill me will be run after a crazy long bike. During Accenture I thought I was going to kick the bucket during a piddly 6.2mile run after a 24.8 mile bike. How can I possibly (more than) double both and feel at all successful? I still don’t know. I’d like to have a personal coach. Someone who can help ME train without sixty some other clowns to worry about. TNT was a fantastic experience and prepared me well for my first triathlon. But now I want more out of a program. I want to know more than the details of race day and what not, I want to know how to be GOOD on race day. I don’t want my goal to be to finish, I want to finish the absolute best I can. It’s a shootin’ shame that coaches, trainers, whatever you want to call them cost money—and cost a lot of money at that. I think I have the desire and discipline enough to be really successful with a coach or trainer, but I don’t have the cash. Honestly, even if I did, I’d have a hard time forking it over—it seems stupid to have to pay for that stuff. Then again, where do you find somebody who is legit and will do a good job that will put forth the time and energy for free? Sadly never. Pah.

Originally I’d thought that this race would be my first step in preparing for a half ironman, but oh how that thought has changed. I wanted to get up to a fast and strong 13 miles, then maintain it while incorporating biking and swimming. So much for that plan, eh? I guess I have time still to figure it all out. But I’m disappointed at my lack of diligence. Despite my lack of endurance, I’m excited for the trip as I am staying with a friend from Anderson (where I went for college for one painfully long semester before I transferred). I always enjoy catching up with old friends, and I have been rather hermit-ish lately, so a little socializing might do me some good.