Home Sweet Home

I breathe easier outside of the city. Literally.

I am enjoying being home. I enjoy the 50 degree weather a lot. I'm trying not to ruin my time here by thinking about how much I don't want to go back. But each day that passes brings the inevitable closer.

I LOVE the gym here. It's ridiculous, every time I come back I like it more and more. I even considered (for maybe thirty seconds) moving back to this city so I can use it regularly. There are apartment complexes RIGHT by it, and when you sign a lease there you get a free membership. And there's a bus stop close by so if I worked at the hospital here then I could just hop a ride. But the hospital here leaves much to be desired. Rats. Do I work for a great hospital or do I live somewhere where the rest of my life is in order? Bah. Everyone is very friendly at this gym, but not to the point where they're invading your life. I went to spinning and luckily it was with my favorite instructor ever. For the first time in far too long I've enjoyed exercising again. And it's not over crowded. Sure, there's the after-work rush blah blah blah, but it's not to the point where one can't function. That perhaps is key.

The idea of living in a big city is more exciting than actually doing it. The excitement, hustle and bustle, and potential for opportunity is enough to make one say 'the cold is worth it.' But it's not. There really is no excitement unless you can afford it, people hustle and bustle because they WILL freeze to death if they don't, and potential for some opportunity is so wishy washy. I like the city for the fact that it's known. When I say "I live in Chicago," I don't have to add on '...it's an hour south of here' or '...it's close to this bigger-cooler place.' People know Chicago. But whatever impresses them about it doesn't negate the factors of day to day life there that make it disgusting to me.

I want to say that if I had a car, everything would be different. I would be able to get places without dancing with hypothermia, I'd be much more independent, and could do what I want without consulting the bus and train schedule and my pocket book to see if there's El fare (which increased with the new year-- $2.50 a ride now, by the way). But I know when one focuses on one thing, saying 'if only I could get this one thing, life would be awesome,' then it always leads to disappointment. So I know a car won't solve my problems and that inevitably it'd create new ones, but hiking to the El and jogging in place on the platform and searching for cash are all things I could live without.

Family gathering in t minus three hours. It's good to be home. And I don't want to go back.