I have won the battle...

Dear cardiovascular fitness that I once briefly held in my grasp: where in tarnation did you go?! Come back to me, I beg you.

War update: I have won the battle. Cinnamon WORKS WELL. Don't judge me, but I still have the same cinnamon barricade along the baseboards of the kitchen. Just this morning I bought Raid, and have yet to actually sweep up the cinnamon and spray (I blame night shift for the delay... and everything askew in my life, lets be honest). I'm nervous to spray Raid in the kitchen... I guess it's just on the floor so it should be okay... right?

Tonight is my last night on orientation. I will have one night off (Sunday night), then work three in a row... solo. Vomit worthy? Yes. I have noticed a theme both at my previous job and my present one that people's first night off orientation always ends traumatically. Whatever can go wrong will, whatever patient is supposed to be the stable one ends up going downhill unexpectedly, etc. Truthfully, I don't vividly remember my first night off orientation in Chicago, which suggests that nothing was uber terrible (unless it was so bad that I repressed it and will come back to haunt me in my middle-adulthood... something to look forward to!). So I'm nervous. Generally speaking if you work several shifts in a row, efforts are made to give you the same patient assignment as it provides consistency in care and for the family, which is usually awesome. However, my assignments the past two nights (and I'm assuming tonight) have been rather intense, and I would definitely appreciate something slightly simpler as I forge the waters on my own. After the second three-in-a-row, I'll have eight glorious days off and I am genuinely looking forward to that!

The Great War of Apartment #104

I'll blame my lack of posts and lack of excitement in this post on night shift. Enough said.

About an hour and a half ago, I walked into my kitchen to turn the light off as I was going to bed. I looked down on the floor and saw a smooshed raisin. Gross. I knelt down to pick it up and throw it away, but as my delicate fingers made contact a thousand ants scurried in all directions. EW. EW EW EW. I have ants! THEY ARE SO GROSS. I grabbed my Windex+Vinegar, cursing myself for getting a 'natural cleanser,' of all times I really wanted some hardcore, non-diluted BLEACH right then. Thus initiated The Great War of Apartment #104. Me vs. Ants. I spent quite a while soaking the sick little critters with my pansy cleaner, then I gagged as I cleared the battlefield. I then went straight to the internet to find good ways to get rid of ants. I plan on getting RAID as soon as stores open, but I don't want them to gain ground between now and then. I saw things like mint, pepper, cinnamon, and pure vinegar will get rid of them. Something about the strong smell or something. I have a LOT of pepper, so I went with that first-- as soon as I started sprinkling it around the bases of the cabinets (where they were coming from because this old building has essentially ZERO caulking throughout.. don't get me started..) I realized that pepper on the ground looks like a million little ants. I sprinkled it all around anyways in a fit of insanity. Then I saw a bugger lost in the middle of the (off)white linoleum. I decided to sprinkle pepper right on top of it to see what it would do (hoping it would roll over and die). It definitely panicked at first.. then it got out of the pepper and started heading away from it, BUT then it turned around! It returned to the pepper and started scavenging within it! WTF?! So then I got out the cinnamon. I saw another ant in a bare space so I dumped some cinnamon on him and watched. HE FLIPPED. He sped away from the cinnamon and didn't look back. I put cinnamon in his path and he avoided it like the Plague. So-- I swept up all the pepper and replaced it with cinnamon. It has been VERY messy. I shoved cinnamon so far in the cracks that I don't think I'll ever get it out. But I am PRAYING that it will keep the ants at bay until I can get some serious chemical warfare to unleash on them. I feel like they're crawling all over me. VOMIT. All because of ONE LITTLE RAISIN! Seriously.

As if my unwelcome friends are not enough, my rock band downstairs neighbor is STILL at it. I even initiated mature confrontation and went down to his apartment, rang the doorbell and said "I live above you. Can you please turn your music down?" For a good 24 hours it was a dull roar instead of deafening noise and I was quite pleased with myself. But all good things must come to an end. I think I'll ask one more time and then I will feel justified complaining to the manager. It blows my mind that he thinks it's an appropriate thing to BLAST music SO LOUDLY when living in such close proximity. Honestly-- he'd have to live on Mars for that to be an appropriate volume. Poor volume awareness is one of my biggest pet peeves. coughnicolecough

I have decided to not write about running for a while. It isn't something that is pleasing me at ALL. So please refrain from asking about it (...mom).

I have ONE MORE WEEK on orientation and then I'm flying solo. EEK! I seriously thought I had two weeks left. Nay. That is three shifts until I have to go it alone. Ulcer worthy. I'm pretty sure I have an ulcer already. I had a TERRIBLE dream that I was talking to my boss and she said "It looks like it will be quite a while until a day position opens up..." I remember that (in my dream) I pasted on a fake fake smile and nodded my head as I tried to be a 'team player'. Screw the team, folks, I gotta get to days. I'm going CRAZY! And now there are ANTS IN MY KITCHEN AND IT IS 2:20AM BUT I CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE I'M AFRAID THAT ANTS WILL CRAWL INTO MY MOUTH BECAUSE I'M A MOUTH BREATHER! This is why daytime hours are best for me.

FML

Generally speaking I am enjoying my new life in Seattle and am pleased with my decision to move. It would be silly to assume that everything would be perfect, but that's life-- there's always going to be a few things that are less than spectacular. Over the past few days it seems like those irritating things are overshadowing their awesome counterparts, and because it's my blog and I can write whatever I want, they are as follows:

*I am living above an aspiring rock musician. He smokes, is unttractive, and has a really weird cough (so any of you thinking "Maybe he's your McDreamy!" you're wrong). I don't think he's actually playing anything himself, but the "music" coming from his very fancy sound system is ridiculous and obnoxious. The mind numbingly irritating nature of this noise will be potentiated by the fact that...
*I start night shift on Monday. This means daytime sleep will once again be something I practice regularly irregularly. To start my downfall with a bang, the scheduling gods decided to have me work day shift on Saturday and Sunday, then start nights Monday and Tuesday. Wtf.
*I have been under the weather for three days. I am pretty sure that the culprit is a little kiddo that got put on viral isolation in the middle of the day I was taking care of her.
*Tuesday I had to make up the afternoon of Orientation I missed due to my sudden sickness during Week One at work. At the end of the day a representative from the nurses union came to talk about the union. I was looking forward to this as I have no idea how unions work-- we didn't have one in Chicago. She didn't say anything super helpful, and the part that makes this situation worthy of the "FML List" is that union dues are absolutely ridiculous! It's over $800 a YEAR! Please join me in my outrage-- $68 every month will be going to 'the union.' I don't WANT a union! I was sooo put off that at the end of the schpiel I went up to the lady and asked if being a union member is optional, and when she said "No," I asked her to tell me something that would make me feel better about paying them $800 a year. She rambled off nonsense reasons like we'll get a Journal in the mail every month, etc. Excuse me, it had better be one HELL OF A JOURNAL that is printed on GOLD PAPER for it to be worth EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS A YEAR! Not a one time payment of $800, but EVERY YEAR. SERIOUSLY-- think about how many nurses there are... and EACH one is giving EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS?!?!? Someone is making serious bank and to me it seems CRIMINAL.
*My drivers license expires on Wednesday. Yesterday, I went to the DMV to not only renew it but get it transferred to my new state of residence. After waking up early and getting dolled up (quite a long process) in anticipation of a new picture being taken, I drove to the far away DMV (several of them are closed indefinitely) only to realize as I pulled into the parking lot that I forgot my proof of address. So I drove back and got a "Proof of Address" card the public library sent me, drove alllllll the way back to the office. It was a pleasantly short wait only to be told that my proof of address wasn't one of the acceptable forms. Apparently, one needs super official mail-- something from the government, utilities bill (mine won't come until mid-February), cable bill (yea right), anything government issued with the current address on it... etc. Bottom line is I don't have any of these things. One can be a pay stub, but the only pay stub I have is detached from the garbage part with the address on it. I only kept the necessary part. They won't even accept a copy of my lease! wtf?! All of this is to say that I drove to the DMV twice and still don't have a license that will last more than five days (and I'm working 4 out of those 5 days and will be sleeping on the 5th.)
*Despite the fact that my head feels like a hot air balloon, I decided to play in an outdoor soccer game I found on Craigslist-- I feel like these opportunities are few and far between and didn't want to let one slip by. I should have let it slip. The highlight: I took a ball to the face, kicked by some male toolshed trying to prove his masculinity by how hard he can kick the ball, nevermind if it was to a teammate or AT an innocent opponent. Face-balls (insert immature middle school boy chuckle here) hurt under any circumstance... the fact that I have a budding sinus infection and that my frontal and maxillary sinuses are oh so tender made it that much worse. It wasn't awesome. It was ridiculously cold (not in comparison to the frigid Midwest, but still very uncomfortable). I seriously considered leaving at half time.

It's my sincere hope that life will shift back to the pleasant side sooner than later. I am encouraged by one thing: when living in Chicago if I'd had a week like this (and trust me, there were PLENTY of these weeks), I would get that much more enthusiastic about leaving that city. However, this week hasn't started me on a search for a new city. It hasn't done much but piss me off to be honest. Perhaps it's the fact that it's the first rocky week, but I will hold on to the fact that it's because this is a good city to live and I like it.

"Do you want some of this?"

Preface: The D.A.R.E Program really worked for me. It completely turned me off to drugs and alcohol at an early age by promising me that if I engaged in such activities I would smell bad, lose all my friends, and do poorly in school. Perhaps I was an overly impressionable 4th grader, but I avoided smelling bad, never lost a friend due to substance abuse on my part, and graduated high school and college. Three victories in my book. However, to this day, I apparently still assume that anyone who does drugs must be a big bad criminal living under the law.

My neighbor invited me to go celebrate the New Year with her large and welcoming family. I thought... hesitated... but ultimately decided to go (in a new Yes-Woman mentality that I'm attempting). So around 12:30 I went over to her apartment and met her boyfriend who would be going with us. He was equally as kind, could carry a conversation, and just was legit. On our way we stopped at a local coffee shop (Zokas) and he even bought me a cup of Chai. Totally caught me off guard. What nice people! It was a little over an hour drive to our destination, and my neighbor and her BF played tour guide, pointing out Bill Gates' house, the new Microsoft buildings, telling me which parts of town were uppity, etc. We made another pit stop at Safeway to get flowers for the hosts. While the lady was wrapping the flowers Boyfriend went back to the car. I didn't think much of it. When we got back to the car, my neighbor said to her significant other "You look like you're up to no good.. it smells awfully green in here." I didn't really get it at first. Did he foof? It did smell funny, but not like a fart. I just chuckled along. As we pulled out of the parking lot, he got out a purple velvet bag with silver drawstrings. He opened it and pulled out what I am pretty sure was a BONG. Yes a Mary-J bong. Now I was watching in terror-- flashbacks to fourth grade with Officer Whoever saying 'Drugs are bad!' 'Don't do drugs!' 'BAAAHHHH!' I watched as he pulled out a container from his purple bag that looked like a pog container-- he flipped open the lid and out came a green little cluster. I almost fainted. I'm in the car with a DRUG LORD. I'm going to the Big House. Every one is going to think I moved here to smoke POT. Do I have a quarter to call home? My parents always said they'd come get me... what if that means driving to Seattle...? Fortunately I snapped back to reality and realized my cell phone was in my purse so no quarters were necessary. My neighbor, taking it all in stride, cracked the windows which did NOTHING for the stench. I felt nauseous. I stared out the window and tried to laugh at the appropriate parts of the conversation but am sure I failed. I couldn't focus. What if I'm getting a second hand high?! What if we get pulled over? Will I go to jail, too? What if I get lung cancer from this? THEN-- Boyfriend turns around and shoves the bong toward me! "Do you want some of this?" Immediately the 'JUST SAY NO' slogan alarmed in my head; I looked at him, cross eyed I'm sure, and replied calmly "No, I'm okay. Thanks, though." D.A.R.E. SUCCESS. So he puffed along like a chimney the rest of the way and I sat in disbelief, wondering what my neighbor's family would think of me when I showed up smelling like pot. Then I wondered if they were Cannabis enthusiasts, too... what was I getting myself into?! We arrived and it was such a fun time-- sans MaryJane. Lots of good and unhealthy food, lots of vegetarian jokes ("You're a vege-terrible???"), but such a welcoming and fun bunch of people that I sincerely hope to see again sometime. On the way Boyfriend said "If you like booze, meat, and/or football, you're going to have a great time!" This concerned me as I am not a fan of any of those... but it was a great time regardless.
Boyfriend lit up on the way back, too. I pondered my life and tried to get right with the Lord reeeal fast just in case the driver got a second hand high and we got in a fatal car crash. I saw the driver texting, too, and was sure my life would end in that car ride. Miraculously we made it back. I really enjoyed the day and am glad I went. I don't know if my reaction to the illegal substance was due to my serious naieve-ness or what. Perhaps the stereotype of the pacific northwest being pot heads is true...? I just don't know.

In other news-- I worked 5 out of the past 6 days and was pooped. The indoor soccer game was a lot of fun, even though we lost. I'm trying to figure out if it's worth it to sign up to play a season, even though I'd miss a significant amount of games due to work. My knees hurt and it was horrifying to realize how painfully out of soccer-shape I am. We'll see.

I also can't believe it's the new year. I crashed on Thursday night around 9:30pm-- it's okay to be envious of my cool-ness. 2010, eh? Here's to many new adventures in the coming year... hopefully very few of them involving marijuana.