Saturday, January 2, 2010

"Do you want some of this?"

Preface: The D.A.R.E Program really worked for me. It completely turned me off to drugs and alcohol at an early age by promising me that if I engaged in such activities I would smell bad, lose all my friends, and do poorly in school. Perhaps I was an overly impressionable 4th grader, but I avoided smelling bad, never lost a friend due to substance abuse on my part, and graduated high school and college. Three victories in my book. However, to this day, I apparently still assume that anyone who does drugs must be a big bad criminal living under the law.

My neighbor invited me to go celebrate the New Year with her large and welcoming family. I thought... hesitated... but ultimately decided to go (in a new Yes-Woman mentality that I'm attempting). So around 12:30 I went over to her apartment and met her boyfriend who would be going with us. He was equally as kind, could carry a conversation, and just was legit. On our way we stopped at a local coffee shop (Zokas) and he even bought me a cup of Chai. Totally caught me off guard. What nice people! It was a little over an hour drive to our destination, and my neighbor and her BF played tour guide, pointing out Bill Gates' house, the new Microsoft buildings, telling me which parts of town were uppity, etc. We made another pit stop at Safeway to get flowers for the hosts. While the lady was wrapping the flowers Boyfriend went back to the car. I didn't think much of it. When we got back to the car, my neighbor said to her significant other "You look like you're up to no good.. it smells awfully green in here." I didn't really get it at first. Did he foof? It did smell funny, but not like a fart. I just chuckled along. As we pulled out of the parking lot, he got out a purple velvet bag with silver drawstrings. He opened it and pulled out what I am pretty sure was a BONG. Yes a Mary-J bong. Now I was watching in terror-- flashbacks to fourth grade with Officer Whoever saying 'Drugs are bad!' 'Don't do drugs!' 'BAAAHHHH!' I watched as he pulled out a container from his purple bag that looked like a pog container-- he flipped open the lid and out came a green little cluster. I almost fainted. I'm in the car with a DRUG LORD. I'm going to the Big House. Every one is going to think I moved here to smoke POT. Do I have a quarter to call home? My parents always said they'd come get me... what if that means driving to Seattle...? Fortunately I snapped back to reality and realized my cell phone was in my purse so no quarters were necessary. My neighbor, taking it all in stride, cracked the windows which did NOTHING for the stench. I felt nauseous. I stared out the window and tried to laugh at the appropriate parts of the conversation but am sure I failed. I couldn't focus. What if I'm getting a second hand high?! What if we get pulled over? Will I go to jail, too? What if I get lung cancer from this? THEN-- Boyfriend turns around and shoves the bong toward me! "Do you want some of this?" Immediately the 'JUST SAY NO' slogan alarmed in my head; I looked at him, cross eyed I'm sure, and replied calmly "No, I'm okay. Thanks, though." D.A.R.E. SUCCESS. So he puffed along like a chimney the rest of the way and I sat in disbelief, wondering what my neighbor's family would think of me when I showed up smelling like pot. Then I wondered if they were Cannabis enthusiasts, too... what was I getting myself into?! We arrived and it was such a fun time-- sans MaryJane. Lots of good and unhealthy food, lots of vegetarian jokes ("You're a vege-terrible???"), but such a welcoming and fun bunch of people that I sincerely hope to see again sometime. On the way Boyfriend said "If you like booze, meat, and/or football, you're going to have a great time!" This concerned me as I am not a fan of any of those... but it was a great time regardless.
Boyfriend lit up on the way back, too. I pondered my life and tried to get right with the Lord reeeal fast just in case the driver got a second hand high and we got in a fatal car crash. I saw the driver texting, too, and was sure my life would end in that car ride. Miraculously we made it back. I really enjoyed the day and am glad I went. I don't know if my reaction to the illegal substance was due to my serious naieve-ness or what. Perhaps the stereotype of the pacific northwest being pot heads is true...? I just don't know.

In other news-- I worked 5 out of the past 6 days and was pooped. The indoor soccer game was a lot of fun, even though we lost. I'm trying to figure out if it's worth it to sign up to play a season, even though I'd miss a significant amount of games due to work. My knees hurt and it was horrifying to realize how painfully out of soccer-shape I am. We'll see.

I also can't believe it's the new year. I crashed on Thursday night around 9:30pm-- it's okay to be envious of my cool-ness. 2010, eh? Here's to many new adventures in the coming year... hopefully very few of them involving marijuana.

No comments: