small debrief

Phew.

So the triathlon is over. It is incredibly bittersweet. I no longer have the anxiety devil sitting on my shoulder saying 'are you sure you're ready? you could probably practice open-water swimming some more... you should get used to your bike some more... maybe another brick workout would be a good idea... do you have everything?... what will you do if __________ happens? how will you get down to the race? how will you get back?' on and on and on.
But at the same time... I want something to train for again. I thoroughly enjoy working out and everything, but there is nothing more motivating that having an event to train for. The fact that THIS event was so loaded with its good cause (LLS-- whoop whoop) made it even better.

So, TNT raised over $300,000 for LLS through the Chicago Triathlon. JOB WELL DONE. Each of you who donated can claim part in that $300,000 that will enable LLS to conduct research to cure blood cancers. At the pasta dinner, one of our Teammates spoke about her battle with blood cancer. It blows my mind how de-sensitized I can get to the concept of cancer. The second I hear somebody talk about their own struggle with it, the significance of the illness overwhelms me. When I hear about THEIR hair falling out after chemo, THEIR depression that resulted after the diagnosis and continued because of their lack of support system, THEIR families who were torn apart by this deadly diagnosis that takes every priority one HAD in life, throws it out the window and takes up residence as the first, second and third priority in life. When I hear about THEIR battle I am heartbroken and honestly-- angry. We're supposedly an intelligent nation. Even if not filled with the smartest of people we certainly have some top-notch equipment and resources, right? Why haven't we cured this disease that is plaguing so many people at a nauseatingly rapid rate? Why haven't we done what we actually CAN DO to prevent these people from going bald, falling to depression and losing their families? I get mad at everyone around me who hasn't done what they can, and I get mad at myself. It seems like you can't go a day without seeing "send money for this disaster relief" or "sponsor our charity runner" or "support me as I do missions abroad." Selfishly, I've ignored those dawning the pathetic excuse I'm a student, I can't afford it, or more recently, I just graduated...I don't have a financial cushion yet, I can't donate. So what. To the woman who wakes up with another CLUMP of hair on her pillow, my donation would mean the world. Not only would it be a chip in the stone of finding a cure to the illness that is slowly and greedily killing her, but it would also show her that she has support. People care. People will sacrifice their comfort in life to help her hold on to hers. I get mad that more isn't being done, but then I get frustrated because there are so many opportunities to donate to these things. Like I said, it's a daily bombardment of people seeking support for their genuinely worthy causes. How can I show them that I actually support them and what they're doing without going absolutely bankrupt??? I think that has actually helped me to not be so jaded towards ...the world, haha. Just because someone didn't donate to LLS through my participation in the triathlon with TNT doesn't mean they don't care and doesn't mean they don't support legit things outside of LLS. ANYWAYS-- regardless of my internal turmoil about society and myself... $300,000 is fantastic and I am just so proud of everyone who donated both monetarily and of resources, encouragement, prayers, and good vibes. I could not have done this race and this fundraising without each of you. THANK YOU. With every ounce of my being, thank you so much for the support you have given me and ultimately everyone affected by blood cancers.

Man, I get riled up too easy. More later. I'm currently looking for another triathlon. I have somethings to fix.